Chat 18 Apr 91,677 notes
  • Kid: Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
  • Cashier: Are you 18?
  • Kid: It's okay, they're a metaphor.
via pizza ✌.
Text 18 Apr 113,610 notes

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

Photo 18 Apr 8,628 notes

(Source: naturevalley)

via kk girly.
Photo 18 Apr 56,294 notes waakeme-up:

mamalovebone:

"its a metaphor, you see—you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing"

I

waakeme-up:

mamalovebone:

"its a metaphor, you see—you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing"

I

Photo 14 Apr 206,644 notes snorgasam:

twerkingongaycountries:

chekhov:

That’s sociopathic

i would do this

snorgasam:

twerkingongaycountries:

chekhov:

That’s sociopathic

i would do this

(Source: pkae)

via pizza ✌.
Quote 14 Apr 68,961 notes

sometimes I kiss people I shouldn’t kiss and let them unbutton my jeans sometimes I leave English class without asking and walk in angular circles until I can hear the blood rushing under my skin sometimes I run until I can’t breathe sometimes I sit in the rain sometimes I sleep for six hours in the middle of the day

sometimes I drive too fast and listen to my music so loud that it hurts sometimes I drink until everything goes black and I don’t remember talking about you all night (even though I do)

sometimes I cry about books and about people who died hundreds of years ago sometimes I don’t cry even though I want to more than anything sometimes I ignore the people I love sometimes hold myself to keep everything in because you are not here to do it

sometimes I think I’m alive sometimes I think I probably never will be

— 

(via porn4smartgirls)

Relevant

(via true-belle)

Video 14 Apr 325,976 notes

(Source: poyzn)

Text 14 Apr 1 note

being caught taking selfies is one of lifes most embarrassing moments. 

image

Photo 14 Apr 408,401 notes picassojawbone:


this show is for little kids but it is the funniest shit I have ever seen

picassojawbone:

this show is for little kids but it is the funniest shit I have ever seen

(Source: creepyweirdcartoons)

Text 14 Apr 279,067 notes

i wanna get drunk and kiss a lot and not think for a while

(Source: hurtlamb)


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